


My greatest love; My greatest loss

by Linvn2289



Category: Beyblade
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 09:25:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11483469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linvn2289/pseuds/Linvn2289
Summary: No one should go through a tragedy like this; there is not even a word for it because there will never be a word that will be able to describe such a loss





	My greatest love; My greatest loss

My greatest love; my greatest loss

The weather in Tokyo is warm and beautiful, a calm breeze gently blowing the beautiful green leaves of various trees, the flowers slightly moving in the wind, showing of their beautiful natural formed colours; the birds are singing because they all have joy in their hearts, joy about the sun shining and the weather making it possible for them to fly around freely without having to worry about freezing to death or like some species, migrating to the south for the warmer months. 

Summer in Japan is a wonderful time for everyone, all except for one person. In a well-kept graveyard somewhere in Tokyo, a lonely soul was walking on a small path, making his way towards a specific grave. With a single pink rose in his hand, the breeze softly blows his two-toned hair, the lonely soul not even noticing the beauty of the nature all around him, for inside him a horrible storm is waging full force, blinding him from the outside beauty that is currently surrounding him.

Kai was dressed in black; black jeans, a plain black t-shirt, his black fingerless gloves and black shoes, only his scarf around his neck being white. Gone are the blue shark fins on his face because he is no longer that Kai Hiwatari, the famous and strong blader, the blader that many had feared to fight but at the same time, respected so much.

His 19th birthday is soon but he feels much older than his actual age, like he has become a man a long time ago. So much has happened and changed in the last plus-minus two years, so much joy, and also so much sadness and heartache. No one can remain the same person they once were after going through the same trauma that he had went through. Grief has a way of changing a person into someone completely new, whether it be for a better person or a worse person, that is only to be seen.

Kai finally reached the grave that he was coming to visit, with one hand in his pocket, the other one holding the pink rose while the gentle breeze still continued to gently blow his hair. ‘Nina Yukov Hiwatari’ was the name placed on the headstone. Kai’s eyes immediately softened when he softly said the name, his heart suddenly feeling like someone has taken hold of it and is starting to press it harder and harder, and feeling like it is going to kill him any moment now.

“My little princess, today would have been your first birthday, it would have been a year since you had blessed me with your precious love, letting me know what it feels like to truly love another human being unconditionally; and it also has been a year since you have been ripped from my life, so fast and so cruel, a year where I have lived with a pain that no one will ever be able to understand, a pain that has slowly started to kill me but I am still not dead, though there are days I just wish that my life can already be over, because I just don’t want to go on living with this horrible dark feeling, suffocating me, stealing the little light that I have left inside of my soul. I miss you so much, my little girl.”

Kai kneeled down on one knee to place the single rose onto the grave, the grave of his little girl that was born a year ago, but who had also died a day right after her birth. Kai remained sitting on his one knee, his fingers gently moving over her name, Nina, a mixture between his and Nina’s mother’s name. Though he and the mother were never together, they had decided long before the birth of their daughter that they would be equally involved in their child’s life and she will have both of their surnames, Yukov being the surname of Natalie, the mother of Nina.

Kai straightened up, placing both of his hands into his pockets of his jeans, just looking at the grave of his daughter, his thoughts going back to where it had all started, the night when she was conceived, the night where the journey had started. 

PLUS/MINUS 1 YEAR AND 9 – 10 MONTHS AGO

Kai was sitting on his black leather couch in his apartment, the apartment his grandfather had purchased for him so that Kai can have a place to escape to whenever he feels he needs a break from society. Say what you will, there are advantages of being the grandson of Voltaire Hiwatari. It is already dark and a couple of hours have already passed since he had lost the championship against Tyson, and he is sure everyone is still celebrating the victory. Tala had already called him a few times but Kai just refused to answer, still brooding with himself over his loss. It is not that he is not happy for Tyson, but he had worked so hard to reach the finals, and the championship was so close, he could almost taste it, but then it had been ripped away from him so fast, and everyone knows by now that Kai Hiwatari and losing are not best friends.

Kai was sitting only in his boxers on the couch, he have already taken a long relaxing shower, and he just does not feel the need to put on any clothes just yet; he is after all alone in his apartment and beware the stupid idiot that would dare disturb his peace right now. The TV was off, no music was playing, and the only sound that could be heard in the entire three-bedroom apartment was coming from the huge antique grandfather clock standing in the living room, a home-warming present from his ‘precious’ grandfather. Kai was so lost in his self-depressing thoughts that he did not even notice the ticking of the antique grandfather clock. With his legs crossed over each other and his arms at the back of his head, his thoughts are his only company now, but one can only tolerate one’s own company for so long before a person will start feeling like that they are going to go crazy.  
Kai glanced at the clock and saw that the time is almost to eight, still so early but he really needs to do something now otherwise he is going to have a few bald patches on his head after pulling out his own hair out of his head from frustration. After making up his mind on what he is going to do, he went to his room to get dressed. 

He opted for something else to wear other than his usual outfit; even the scarf did not make the outfit. With a dark blue jean, a white buttoned up shirt with the first two buttons undone which is showing a glimpse of his toned chest, rounded off with a black blazer, he looked ready for a night out on the city. He did not put on his blue face paint, not feeling like going through all of that effort right now. Kai took his black shoes from his closet, his wallet, not his phone because he does not want to be bothered, and made his way towards the door. He made sure he had enough cash with him and also his fake ID, something that he and the rest of The Blitzkrieg Boys had obtained as there were a few nights during the tournament where they just wanted to have some fun, innocent or not, and most of the time it involved places where no under 21’s are allowed, and luckily all four boys looked much older than they actually were so no one questioned the ID’s.

After making sure he has everything and that his appearance looks good, and that he also smells good, Kai took off into the night life of Tokyo, no specific destination in mind, as long he gets a drink somewhere.

Kai decided to take the train to the other side of the city because he really does not want to run into any of the other bladers, and also because he does not want to drive drunk with his own car should he decide to let go with the alcohol. A blader, does not matter who, is the last person he wants to run into tonight. After a 15 minute journey, the train stopped and Kai got off, silently very grateful that no one had recognised him on the train, maybe because his usual trade mark blue shark fins are gone and he was not wearing his blader outfit. Kai casually strolled down the streets, just watching the night life all around him, seeing what the other people are all up to, some were tourists doing sightseeing; others were setting up their night stalls for the night to do their nightly job. Both coloured bulbs and neon lights were flashing all around them, the sounds of various music being played drumming in Kai’s ears; there were customers arguing with the stall owners where they had just bought something to eat, the price being too expensive or the food not being prepared correctly.

Just walking through this type of life already brought some sense of calmness over Kai but he still needs a drink, or a few, depending on the type of bar he is going to walk into.  
After walking around for a few minutes more, Kai had finally found a bar that had peaked his curiosity, the name of the bar being called ‘The drowning oyster’, a very weird, and yet unique name for a bar. Kai entered the bar and did not regret his decision. It was clean, not too bright or too dull, not overcrowded and it did not have that suffocating smell of smoke mixed with other horrible and bitter smells. Kai looked around the bar a little, spotting a few people here and there mingling with each other, all of them having a good time. The music was also not too bad that was playing in the background, and another thing that Kai had noticed is that no one was dressed like commoners, another plus point for the bar in Kai’s eyes.

Kai took his seat at the bar counter, the bar tender greeting him friendly and very politely. ‘No reason to be rude to this pure fellow,’ Kai thought before greeting back and placing his order, a glass of vodka on the rocks. Might as well drink the traditional drink of Russia seeing as he feels like the weather of Russia, cold and miserable.

The night progressed on without any complications and Kai was already on his third glass of vodka, still feeling very sober, and luckily for him no one has felt the need to come and disturb him, but that was until he ordered his fourth glass. Out of nowhere, a beautiful black haired woman took the empty seat next to Kai, catching his attention the moment she slammed her black glitter purse onto the counter of the bar. She did not even notice Kai sitting next to her, so the young man took this opportunity to look at her quickly and to try and see her features as fast as he can. He can already see by her body language that she is pissed with someone, who it is, he is not interested in finding out. She was dressed with tight fitting leather pants that clearly do her curves justice; she had on a bright orange halter top, a very visible tattoo of a red dragon on her right shoulder blade, reaching up to right over her shoulder. Her black hair was done up in a half pony, the rest of her hair being draped over her left shoulder, possibly irritating her exposed back. Her right ear had four piercings, three in her lobe and the last one at the top of her ear through the cartilage bone. Kai even took notice of her make-up, although he could not see the colour of her eyes. Her make-up was a mixture of gold and black, and even though Kai has no idea about make-up, he can agree that it does compliment her whole attire.

Kai was brought out of his observation when the unknown woman snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, the Hiwatari heir suddenly feeling very embarrassed that he had been caught staring like that.

“Dude, seriously, what is your problem? I know I am gorgeous but you are freaking me out by staring at me like that, it looks like you want to chop me up.”

Kai just snorted and turned his attention back to the bar, suddenly finding the display of the various alcohol bottles very interesting. Kai noticed that she had a Russian accent, another thing that he finds interesting at the moment. The unknown woman did not say anything else but she also did not move from her seat, Kai suddenly becoming very aware of how close their chairs really are. ‘She smells so good,’ is all he could think of right now. Kai is not a prude and even he can admit when seeing a fine specimen of the opposite sex. Beauty has never been an ugly thing.

The two strangers remained sitting next to each other in complete silence, neither acknowledging the existence of the other. Kai was drinking his fourth glass of vodka even slower, but noticing that the woman next to him was downing her drinks, another sign that she really is pissed. She also has already had two shots of tequila and she had just ordered another, but luckily the drink in the glass looks like a drink with a light alcohol content if one can see just how much juice and ice the bartender adds to the glass. 

“I suggest you buy me a drink if you want to continue staring at me, lover boy; that way I would at least know that you are trying to hit on me, instead of planning on how you are going to murder me.”

Kai had been caught staring once again, the young Russian silently cursing himself. “I am not hitting on you.”

“So, then you are planning my murder; I feel so much better right now, really,” the sarcasm being heard clearly in her voice.

Kai did not acknowledge her remark and remained looking out in front of him, trying to ignore the woman next to him, casually taking another sip from his drink. His arms were resting on the counter, giving of the aura of someone very relaxed and in-control of the situation, which is not completely untrue.

“What’s your name, lover boy?” 

Without even hesitating for even a second, Kai said his name, but only his name. He then finally turned towards the woman, the two locking eyes and Kai just had to get lost in her eye colour, for it was the most beautiful blue eyes he as ever seen. Her eyes were not blue like the sky or a sapphire stone; they were blue like the ocean on a clear sunny day, with a tint of yellow in the blue. He suddenly felt like she was looking straight into his soul, and yet at the same time, right through him. Kai kept his composure and also casually asked her what her name is. 

“Natalie, just Natalie; last name will remain a mystery, for now, depending on the progress of the night.”

Kai raised an eyebrow, Natalie immediately realising what that gesture meant; she just laughed and shook her head from side to side, before taking her next shot of tequila. Kai watched as she downed the shot, noticing that she did not even bother with the salt and slice of lemon that comes before and after.

“So, Kai, what brings you here on this lovely night?”

“Life, and all of its bullshit that just loves to have my attention and that also loves to be in my life; what’s your reason?” Kai did not even know why he answered so freely, quickly blaming the alcohol for his sudden mood and personality change.

“Life and all of its bitch slaps that it thinks I constantly need,” and just like that, the two strangers laughed, and that seems to have been the ice breaker because after that, the two started to talk openly about their problems. Kai did not tell Natalie that he is a professional blader, just telling her that he has been working so hard for a promotion and today he had thought that he had gotten it, only to be disappointed in the end by standing aside for someone else to receive it, which is also not a complete lie.

Natalie told Kai that she had just dumped her boyfriend of six months because he was seeing her cousin behind her back, she even told Kai personal things, things like that she and her boyfriend have only slept together twice, and that was in the first month of the relationship. She did always find it strange but never thought of questioning him about it, not sure whether it may be a sensitive subject for the guy or not. Kai noticed that she did not look sad at all about her loss, just pissed about the audacity of her cousin doing that to her in the first place; Natalie even joked about the fact that her cousin will not be receiving a Christmas card from her this year. Kai found out that she is six years older than him but he did not reveal his age to her, and neither did she ask.

The night progressed so well with all the laughter and fun between the two strangers, that Natalie ended up going home with Kai, and both were still sober because back at the bar both of them stopped the alcohol and just opted for juice up until they had left the bar, so both were in the right set of mind when they ended up in Kai’s bed, clothes being discarded all over the apartment, starting at the door, the last piece of clothing laying just in front of the door to Kai’s bedroom. Neither cared about the consequences, both seeing it as a way to get rid of their excess frustration and rage, and what better way is there other than to get hot and heavy in bed with a complete stranger the whole night through, and that is just what they did.

The night progressed with lots of passion and action between the two, and by the time the sun was showing its first rays, the two were exhausted by going right through the night with their escapades. The bed was a complete mess, the sheets, pillows and duvet all over the place, and the occupants in the bed did not look much better. Natalie’s make-up was almost completely gone, the eyeliner and mascara the only real evidence left that she had make – up on; even her hair was a complete mess, and Kai was not looking any better; his unruly hair looking even more unruly than usual. Kai was lying on his back, his head resting on his right arm that he had placed behind his head, his other arm holding Natalie close to him. The mentioned woman was resting her head on his chest, her left arm draped over his stomach, as she was listening to his heart beat and breathing becoming regular. Both were feeling sticky all over, all thanks to the sweat and other fluids that will not be mentioned out loud. 

The atmosphere between the two was not awkward, which surprised Kai quite a bit; usually he is not one to stay until the sun rises, much less hold the woman close to his body, his arms securely around her body.

Neither felt the need to spoil the calm and peaceful mood with words right now, both just enjoying the perfect silence between them. The two continued to lie in for another twenty minutes or so before Kai asked Natalie whether she wants to take a shower and she did not protest at all. Natalie got up and Kai took in her naked body once more, looking at the three tattoos that were covering her back; the dragon had he already seen at the bar but the tattoo written in Russian that read ‘Only I can choose’ written across her lower back, and the other of a small blue cat at her left hip, he only saw when they got back to his apartment and when they started to remove each other’s clothes in a rush. Apparently Natalie did not feel shy about walking around naked in front of Kai, and neither does she need to feel shy because it is clear she takes care of herself, as she made her way to his connecting bathroom. Kai had offered to go and gather her clothes and bring them for her, and he also told her that there are clean towels in the bathroom closet; there are also new toothbrushes and that she can take one.

After hearing the water being turned on, Kai finally got up and went to collect their clothes, and he also put on the kettle to make coffee for them both. Kai placed Natalie’s clothes in the bathroom, and after having an internal battle with himself on whether he should join Natalie in the shower or not, he decided to rather just go and prepare the coffee. He put on a loose fitting pair of pants and went to the kitchen, where after drinking his coffee quietly for about 15 minutes, Natalie finally joined him. She looked all freshened up and ready for a new day. The two enjoyed a cup of coffee together before Natalie made her way to the door, Kai walking with her all the way.

She was about to open the door before she turned around to face Kai, and she took his head into both of her hands, kissing him passionately for one last time. Kai wanted more, so he placed his right hand on her hip and pushed her gently against the door, his other hand pressed against the wall above their heads. Natalie took this as a sign that they are going to kiss for a while, and so she wrapped her arms around Kai’s neck. Kai pressed his body against hers, feeling how her breasts were pressing against him, and also feeling how his arousal was growing once more in his pants. Their tongues were fighting for dominance and luckily for Kai, Natalie is only three inches shorter than him so he does not have to bend very low to kiss her. Natalie moaned into his mouth, causing Kai to place his left hand on her hip and to press his body even more up against Natalie’s body, the Russian woman feeling his arousal against her, and although she wants to repeat the entire night’s happenings so bad right now, she has to leave now, so she finally found the courage to break the kiss, both of them out of breath. Kai got the message and stepped back away from her, placing his left arm once again against the wall above their heads.

“Thanks for last night, lover boy, it was really fun, hot and lots of fun, and although I want a repeat right now, I really can’t,” she said with a naughty smirk on her face. Kai returned the smirk, also thanking her for the night. 

“Well, Hiwatari, maybe we will run into each other again some other night.”

Kai was shocked when she mentioned his surname, causing the older woman to just chuckle.

“I would have put my country to shame if I did not know who you were, Kai, but anyway, catch you around, lover boy.” Natalie gave Kai one last passionate kiss before leaving, but not before winking at him one last time.

“See you, Natalie.”

Neither of the two had exchanged numbers, both agreeing that it was for the best, seeing as both did not go out the previous night to get involved with someone else. Kai kept thinking about Natalie the whole day, their night together constantly running through his mind, but soon enough he had forgotten all about her.

And soon enough, it was the whole fiasco with BEGA, the rage and frustration building once more within Kai, but this time he did not even consider going to a bar.

More than a month has passed since BEGA was brought down. Kai was at Tyson’s place one morning when his phone rang, an unfamiliar number calling him. At first Kai did not want to answer, but following his gut, he did, and he was glad that he did because it was Natalie.

“I am really sorry for calling you, Kai, but we need to talk, today if it is possible.”

“Sure, just say where and when.”

The two agreed on a time and a place, and then Kai just left his teammates without saying anything. Kai found the cafe that they had agreed on and he immediately spotted the blue eyed beauty, images of their night together suddenly flashing through his mind, causing a sudden tightness in his nether regions, which he really has to keep in control right now. He took a seat opposite her, surprised that she has already ordered him coffee.

“It’s good to see you, Kai, but I am not here for small talk; here, I just thought that you might want to know.”

Natalie handed Kai an envelope and after opening it and reading the letter, Natalie saw Kai visibly pale, which is understandable. Natalie wasted no time in telling Kai what is what, clearly showing that she is not a woman that sits around and waits for things to happen.

“And yes, Kai, it is yours before you start asking questions. It can’t be my ex’s baby, and neither have I slept with anyone else before or after our night together, and as far as I can recall, we did not use protection that night and I am also on no birth control; we can even go for a paternity test if you want to be sure, I have no objections.”

Kai still did not know what to say, still too shocked about the news that he had just received. ‘She is pregnant, and it is mine? How could this have happened? I am still a kid myself.’

“I got your number from the BBA, and relax, I did not say anything about this; I just told the old man that it is private business from Russia, and yeah, he believed me. Look, Kai, I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way; I am keeping the baby but you can be involved in this as much as you want to, I won’t mind. I know that I am older than you, and so I am more ready for this than you, so yeah, no pressure.”

Kai finally looked up from the letter, still unsure of it all, but if there is one thing that he is not unsure about, it is that he is not going to be an absent father.

“I am not leaving you alone with this, Natalie; I want to be a part of this.” 

Kai easily noticed that Natalie relaxed somewhat upon hearing that he is not leaving her alone. The two decided to see each other again in a week’s time to discuss how they are going to handle this whole situation, things like living arrangements, sonar and doctor appointments, all those things; a week will be more than enough time for them to think about everything and to make final decisions on everything.

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The sun is busy setting and Kai is sitting on the river bank, just looking at the calm water flowing in front of him, his thoughts with Natalie and their baby that they are going to have.

‘It is not that I don’t like Natalie but to be tied to a woman right now is not what I had planned for myself at this age, and even worse, a baby. I will take responsibility and support her in everything, but I just don’t see myself getting married to her just because she is carrying my child. I still have so much that I want to do, things that I want to accomplish. Sure, I know that I would have wanted children, but that would have been later in life, not right now. Abandoning my child and the mother is no option, I will not allow that, but how am I going to manage all of this? I am only 17; I should be thinking about parties and racing with cars and picking up girls, not on how I am going to raise a baby.’

Soon enough it was time for Kai and Natalie to meet up and to discuss the necessary things. Both had agreed that Natalie will move in with Kai for the time being, seeing as his place is nearer to a hospital, should anything happen. Natalie will continue working at her job until the very end. She even offered to help Kai with the rent but the stubborn boy simply refused to hear anything of it, so then Natalie decided to keep paying the rent of her current apartment, not wanting to lose it, and also not to lose the security of having her own place. Just because she and Kai had one night of fun, does not mean that they will get along every day, especially when her hormones will start going up and down, and Kai is already known for his temper, Natalie being no different.

The months started to fly fast and before the two knew it, Natalie was already seven months pregnant and showing clearly. They already know that they are going to have a girl and the two have already decided on a name, and Natalie had suggested that their girl will have both of their surnames, to which Kai had no objection. The two young parents-to-be have also started to prepare their girl’s room at Kai’s place. No one knows of the baby so far, and neither do Kai’s teammates know that he is currently living with a woman that is expecting his baby.

Kai and Natalie do fight a lot but it is luckily never anything serious, and Kai has learned that living together does have its advantages, much more than the disadvantages; the advantages being the passionate nights, the two relaxing together in a hot bath together whenever Natalie feels a little bit overwhelmed, but despite living comfortably together, they are not dating. Natalie told Kai that they should not start dating just because of the baby, and he just had to pretend that he agreed.

Over the last few months, Kai has started to develop feelings for Natalie, rather very strong feelings. He has discovered that he can be himself in front of her because she does not tolerate his coldness or moodiness, and Natalie is not afraid to speak her mind, a trait that Kai finds very attractive in her, amongst many others. Natalie is not a morning person AT ALL. Kai has learned to leave her alone for at least two hours in the morning, not even greeting her; she is like a whole other person when she wakes up. Kai only leaves her cup of coffee on the counter because he is usually up before her, and then patiently waits for her to wake up completely. Natalie is not one who waits around for people to make decisions; if she has made up her mind on a certain matter, no one can change her mind; Kai really likes her strong attitude and her strong personality, it really brings out the best in him.

Kai had never thought that he would enjoy it this much living with a woman; he likes it when he goes to bed at night, knowing that he is going to hold someone special against him, in his arms, and waking up next to the same special person the next morning. Kai finds Natalie very attractive in the morning just after she wakes up, because despite her horrible mood, her puffy eyes and messed up hair brings out her true beauty, even her cranky and croaky voice sounds attractive to him. He loves it when they sometimes just rest on the bed, feeling the baby kick in Natalie’s stomach, and Kai really has no words to describe on how proud he feels as he watches his baby grow in her mother’s stomach, everything about the pregnancy is just a joy, even the endless hours of shopping for the baby stuff. Kai took over the cooking in the household, preparing only healthy and nutritional food for Natalie and their baby; the first sonar of little Nina has been framed and placed in their bedroom. Kai really is beyond happy that he is a part of this journey and he is really very excited about the arrival of his baby daughter; he really cannot wait for that day. The two love birds even went to Moscow to go and tell Voltaire the news face to face. Voltaire and Kai had put their differences aside and Voltaire was truly happy upon hearing the news that he is going to be a great – grandfather, an opportunity that not many is blessed with. He assured Kai that the baby will never need anything and that he will personally open a trust for the newest addition to the Hiwatari family.

Tyson and the others have been asking Kai constantly why he is so scarce, Kai just ignoring the question whenever asked about it, and luckily for him, they would just leave it there and not pressure him anymore on the matter.

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Natalie is currently at the beginning of the eight month of her pregnancy and she is already very uncomfortable and very irritated with everything around her, something that is slowly working on Kai’s nerves. The last five days they have not slept together, Natalie not even allowing Kai to touch her.

Right now she was on the couch, trying to get as comfortable as her pregnant body can allow her but Kai can hear from the kitchen that it will only be a matter of minutes before she is going to explode and go into a fit of rage. Kai was preparing a late afternoon snack for them both, Natalie having a slice of bread with potato chips and syrup on it, the weird craving that she is also experiencing at this moment. Kai listened more to her groaning and silently started to count down the time and just as he had expected, when he reached zero, she threw the cushions across the room and started to cuss in Russian.

Kai was immediately by her side, trying to calm her down, but just like it has been going on for the last past few days, she pushed him away, refusing Kai to touch her.

“What the hell is your problem, Natalie?! I am just trying to help you, what is so difficult about that?!”

“Don’t touch me, Hiwatari! This is all your fault!” 

That remark had caught him completely off guard and he just stood there, watching as Natalie was making her way to the door, gathering the keys of her car. It was only when he heard the door open did he snap back to reality and sprint towards her to prevent her from leaving, but what neither of them did not notice, was that a young man, Kai’s age, with a long black pony tail, was about to knock on the door to Kai’s apartment.

Ray had decided to come to Kai’s place to see with his own eyes what is really going on with his teammate, and he was very surprised to see a woman through the small opening of the door, but he could clearly hear what was being said between his captain and this unknown woman, and deciding to listen in on the conversation, he did not make his presence known right away.

“My fault?! How the hell is this, my fault?! The last time I checked it takes two people to make a baby, not one, so there is no way in hell I made this baby all my own!”

‘Baby, what is Kai talking about making a baby?’ Ray had no idea what to make of what he had just heard, and so he just listened more.

“Go to hell, Hiwatari! I don’t need in you in my life!”

Kai took hold of Natalie by her shoulders and pushed her against the wall but luckily not hard.

“You are going nowhere with our baby! I have told you that I am not leaving you and neither are you! We are both going to raise our child, but you have to cut me some slack, Nat, you are making it impossible for me to help you. Just talk to me, and tell me what I have done wrong for you to act this way towards me?”

Ray gasped when he realised that Kai got someone pregnant, that he is going to be a father. He tried to listen more, but all he could hear was the sobbing of a woman.

Natalie had started to cry and Kai took her into his arms, gently stroking her back with his left hand.

“I.....I am so sorry, Kai.....I......I just don’t know.....what is going on.....with me,” is all Natalie could say throughout her sobbing. Kai said nothing and just continued holding her close to him, still unaware of Ray standing right outside his door. The two young lovers continued holding each other, until Ray unexpectedly sneezed, alerting Kai and Natalie of his presence. Before the Chinese boy could make a run for it, the door flung open and both he and Kai paled when they had locked eyes.

“Ray, what.....what are you doing here?” Kai was actually scared shitless upon the presence of Ray, wondering what had the Chinese boy heard, but by the look on Ray’s face, Kai can only guess that Ray had heard everything. Natalie also came out and Ray’s eyes widened when he saw the size of Natalie’s stomach.

“Kai, I.....err, I came to see you, but I will come another day.”

Kai knew that there is no way he can let his teammate go without explaining the situation, and against his better judgement, he invited Ray in, and after introducing Ray and Natalie to each other, Kai started to explain the situation to Ray, and made Ray promise that he will not say anything to anyone. Ray was so shocked about hearing Kai becoming a father but after coming over the shock, he was filled with joy as a baby always brings so much joy to someone’s life, and Ray could clearly see that both Kai and Natalie are excited about the birth of their baby girl. Ray swore to them that he will not breathe a word to anyone, and if they ever need any help, they just have to shout and he will gladly help them.

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Natalie was in the delivery room, Kai holding her hand, but the young man was secretly starting to get dizzy from how much pain she is causing him by just pressing his hand. Kai had no idea that a woman can be so strong and he will never underestimate the strength of a woman, any woman, ever again.

“One more push, Ms Yukov, she is almost there.”

“I am pushing, you four eyed blind bat! If I push anymore, I am going to pop a vein!”

The doctor did not even show any sign of taking the remark of Natalie serious, Kai figuring that the doctor must be use to crazy women in labour by now. Natalie pushed once more, and then it was like Kai’s heart had stopped beating because just then he heard the cry of his baby girl, the pain in his hand suddenly gone. Natalie immediately relaxed the moment she heard her baby cry, and all she wanted to do was to hold her baby in her arms. The doctor removed the baby completely and after covering the baby in a pink blanket, he handed her to Natalie where both she and Kai just smiled at their baby.

Kai has never felt this way, feeling like he can cry out of happiness, like his heart wants to explode with pride and joy from this little human being. Natalie held her for a while before giving her to Kai to also hold, and the moment he took his girl into his arms for the first time, he no longer cared about holding back his tears, neither about his pride. The tears were running freely from his eyes as he looked down at his daughter, with her beautiful black hair. Their baby had stopped crying but he did not care. It had been the most beautiful sound that he has ever heard in his entire life. Kai placed a soft kiss on the head of his daughter, the tears flowing even more from his eyes; Natalie already crying like a baby but that is normal for any woman. After handing their daughter back to Natalie, she pulled Kai closer and through their tears, the two young lovers shared a passionate kiss before turning their attention back to their beautiful new born daughter.

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Kai has never been so happy in his life, not even his victory over Brooklyn will ever come close to this feeling. He was so heartbroken when he had to leave the hospital last night, it was like he was leaving a huge part of his heart behind, which is actually true. He does not want to miss one second of his daughter’s life, and that is why he is currently shopping for wedding rings. He is going to ask Natalie to marry him, they both are happy with each other and they both have proved that they can live with each other, heck, he even caught her numerous times where she looked at him and the moment he noticed and looked back at her, she would just look away quickly and blush; he wants both Natalie and Nina in his life until the day he puts his head down.

When Natalie was pushed to her regular room the previous day and the nurse brought Nina for her first breastfeeding session, Kai could not take his eyes off of his daughter, watching how she was drinking, knowing that he had helped create this fragile and beautiful little baby girl. Fatherhood really is a joy like no other.

Kai was still looking through a few rings when his phone rang, and his heart jumped with joy when he saw that it was Natalie but that all changed when he answered and heard her crying.

“Kai, you have to......come.....please.....” and without saying anything else, she hung up.

Kai started to feel very nauseous and then just raced towards the hospital, the dreadful feeling not going away. He ran to Natalie’s room, and when he entered, he saw that something was very wrong. Natalie was sitting on the bed, her legs pulled up to her chest, her sobs being heard clearly. Kai approached her silently but the moment she noticed his presence, she just lunged at Kai, holding him tight while her sobbing got more intense, the young Hiwatari not knowing what to make of it all.

The doctor finally came in to tell Kai the bad news, the horrible news that his daughter had died during the night as there were complications with her heart, something that had happened very sudden and something that the doctors did not pick up on.

It had felt like Kai was constantly being stabbed with knives into his heart, the suffocating pain was so much that everything started to get dark all around him, and the last thing he remembers was Natalie calling out his name in panicked state.

Kai had fainted upon hearing about the death of his daughter, and it was a loss and pain like no other. When Kai had regained his consciousness, he just got up and left the hospital, not saying anything to Natalie. She had tried calling him but he just did not want to talk to her, or to anyone for that matter. Before Kai knew it, he was on a plane, heading to Moscow; It was like he was moving on auto pilot, like his body was just acting on its own accord and he was just following it.

He had no idea what he was doing in Moscow; he did not even pack his bags or anything, he can’t even remember how he had obtained his passport. Kai went to the Hiwatari manor and stayed there for almost a month, not talking to anyone. Natalie had called him constantly the two weeks, but he just kept ignoring her calls, just like he ignored everyone else. Kai was hurting so much on the inside and he just did not know how to handle the pain, how to cope with the loss over his daughter. He had so many plans, plans that all revolved around her and her mother, but now Kai does not know what he wants to do, constantly thinking of joining his little girl in the afterlife.

After a month after the death of little Nina, Kai had returned to Japan and when he arrived at his apartment, he noticed that all of Natalie’s things were gone, not that he can blame her. He walked to the room that should have been Nina’s room and the suffocating pain returned, this time much fiercer and stronger, causing the young man to collapse to the floor, grabbing his chest, suddenly having difficulty in breathing.

From that day on, things had gone to hell with Kai. Kai started to drink vigorously, starting early in the morning and drinking until he passes out, and when he wakes up, he would just start the cycle all over. He started to smoke and then he progressed to using illegal substances, mixing various drugs with each other, and then mixing it all with the alcohol which was life threatening but he did not care; it was like he was trying to kill himself.

Four months had passed since Kai had returned from Moscow and Ray had become very worried about his friend and he finally got the courage to go and visit his friend but he regretted the decision the moment Kai opened the door. Kai’s eyes were red and puffy, he had dark bags under his eyes, he had lost a lot of weight, almost looking unhealthy and he reeked of alcohol; Kai were literally almost just skin and bone, gone were his toned muscles.

“My kid is dead so just keep your congratulations for yourself, so if you don’t mind, I have something that needs to be snorted up my nose,” and without waiting for Ray to reply, Kai closed the door in his face, and no matter how much Ray knocked and screamed, Kai did not open. Ray started to panic and rushed to Kenny, begging his computer genius friend to hack into the hospital’s database so that they can try and find a physical address of Natalie. It was not difficult to find her and soon enough, Ray was knocking on her door. He explained to her the condition Kai is in but Natalie was not sure whether she will able to help Kai or not; she too is still grieving a lot over the loss of their daughter, and just like Kai, she is doing it alone, although not as violent as he is.

Natalie had waited almost two weeks’ after Ray’s visit before going to Kai’s place, and only God knows why she had kept her key to his apartment. It was clear to her that Kai did not want anything to do with her and she had accepted and respected his choice.

She opened the door and quietly made her way into the apartment, feelings of disgust and shock mixed together. The place was dark, and it smelled horrible. 

“Kai, it’s me, Natalie.” 

She received no answer and she checked all over the apartment, leaving his bedroom for last, and just as she had expected, Kai was passed out on his bed. She gently shook him awake and she was surprised that he woke up quite easily. He did not recognise her immediately but the moment he did, all the hurt and pain came rushing back to him, causing his temper to flare up.

“Get out, you tramp! It is you; you took away my child away from me! Get out, you murderer! Get out!” 

Natalie was so shocked that she did not even try to argue with Kai so she just turned around and walked out, Kai following her, still screaming insults at her. She tried her best to keep her cool but she lost it when she reached the door and he screamed at her that she is the cause for his pain and his loss, but Kai suddenly shut his mouth when Natalie turned around and slapped him right through his face. He did not expect that at all.

“Listen to me carefully, Kai, because I am only going to say this once: I did not take Nina away from you. Do you honestly think that you are the only one grieving?! I carried her inside of me for nine months, I felt every kick, I felt her grow inside of me, I had breastfed her and you think you are the only one grieving?! I had to see her body after she had died, Kai! You did not even stick around for the funeral because you just ran like a coward because poor little Kai is the only person on this entire planet that has just lost his baby girl, but guess what, you are not the only one! I had to endure the hell of arranging the funeral for my baby girl that I did not even have a whole day with me! I had to watch how her coffin was lowered into the ground, the black hole tormenting me!”

By now Natalie had started to cry but she did care; she just continued scolding Kai.

“I called and called you, but nothing! You did not even have the balls to call me back, not even send a simple text! And now you are acting like you are the only one that is grieving! Not once did you even put in the effort to contact me to ask what had happened with the body of our baby girl, not to mention asking me how I was feeling! And yes, Kai, I fell in love with you! I loved you so much by the time our daughter was born but clearly you felt nothing because you just left me! I had no one to comfort me when I watched my daughter’s coffin being lowered into that hole, when you should have been there, the two of us comforting and carrying each other through this horrible and morbid time, but you just thought of yourself, you selfish, heartless, arrogant, inconsiderate and obnoxious bastard! Go on, drink yourself to death! I don’t care! Choose the easy way out! I chose to grieve the loss of our daughter and I am still grieving and I will probably never stop, but I am not killing myself in the process because I know that our daughter would not have wanted that! I am out of here, Kai. Good luck with your miserable life!” and just like that, she slammed the door shut, leaving Kai speechless but also leaving him with a lot of things to think about.

PRESENT DAY

It feels like yesterday that Natalie had given him that scolding but in fact it has been a couple months ago, and he had needed that. He remembered every word she had said, he remembered seeing the pain in her eyes, hearing the pain in her voice, despite still being very drunk. How could he have been so selfish, not once thinking about Natalie and that she was also going through hell. He really is a selfish bastard; his track record of the past proves it over and over again. Well, luckily for him, after that day when Natalie had confronted him, he got his act together, leaving all the bad habits behind and quickly getting himself back to health, he even got his toned body back, the gruelling exercises keeping him focused and keeping him from taking up the bad habits once more. He had called Natalie about two months ago to ask her where their daughter has been buried and he has been visiting little Nina’s grave every day. He and Natalie has not seen each other since that day she was at his apartment, Kai still feeling very ashamed with himself about how he had acted towards her; they also have not stayed in contact, the only time that they have talked over the phone was when he had called about little Nina’s grave.

Kai remained standing in front of little Nina’s grave when he heard steps behind him, approaching him. The person stopped next to him and he was surprised to see that is was Natalie. She too had a single pink rose with her. The two said nothing to each other, not until Natalie also placed the rose onto the grave of their daughter. The two remained standing next to each other, no uneasiness. Natalie was the first to break the silence.

“You remembered her birthday.”

“I will never forget it.”

Once again a comfortable silence overtook them and they just remained like that. 

“Kai.....”

“Natalie.....”

The two said each other’s names at the same time, resulting in the two facing each other and just smiling at each other, Kai still getting lost in her blue eyes.

“You go first, Kai.”

With a silent nod, he started to speak. “I am sorry for how I treated you in the past, and that I was so selfish; I never meant to hurt you, or to leave you. I am just a weak ass when it comes to losing, I never quite got the hang of it on how to cope with losing, no matter what it is that I have lost, and thanks for helping me; you may not realise it, but your scolding had saved my life, so thanks.”

“We both suffered in our own way, Kai, and I don’t blame you for just disappearing; everyone has their own way to work through hurtful emotions, yours is just the flight action.”

Kai chuckled, agreeing with her. “Nat, do you maybe want to join me for a cup of coffee, no strings attached, just as friends.”

“It sounds like a great idea, thanks.”

Kai looked into her eyes once more and realised all of a sudden that his feelings for this beautiful black haired beauty has never disappeared; he is still very much in love with her, and he hopes that she still feels the same, although he cannot blame her, but a man can always hope can he not?

They smiled at each other before turning back to face the grave of their daughter, and after looking at it one last time for the day, they turned around, making their way out of the graveyard, walking next to each other, closely, and when they almost reached the gate, Kai gently took Natalie’s hand into his, she giving his hand a squeeze in return and then the two looked at each other, smiling and their eyes saying all that there is needed to say about what they are still feeling for each other.

They made their way out of the cemetery......

Into the unknown, and into their future.


End file.
